While the infamous comeback line “say it to my face” has run rampant in society for as long as we can remember, as proud members of The Curvy Committee, we’re here to tell you… the same doesn’t apply when speaking to the full-figured. This is a list of terms that are NOT compliments for plus size women.
As the only (visibly) “overweight” person in a social setting, there’s always this unspoken sense of sympathy from individuals who fail to read the room and overcompensate for their hidden fatphobia. Suddenly, we become charity cases to those of smaller sizes, assumedly starving for unprovoked reassurance and forced generosity. Uncomfortable enough, the backhandedness bleeds through every unfiltered word, with entitlement used as a to-go pass to utter the unwarranted.
The truth is… larger ladies are humans, too, and there’s no special science on communicating with us or extra niceness required to make us feel secure in our right to take up space. Although we’ve let things slide for (way) too long, we’re aware that not everyone sits with ill intent, clutching their pearls at how gloriously round our bodies are and waiting for the perfect time to tell us how obesity is wrong. For that reason, we’ve decided to use this as a teachable moment instead.
These are not-so-flattering remarks that aren’t to be confused with endearment and are not compliments for plus-size women.
Terms that are Not Compliments for Plus Size Women and are Unpleasant to Hear
1. Juicy
Holding its top place next to “BBW” is “juicy.” Now, we know what you’re probably thinking. Back in the early 2000s, everything from rhinestone sweatsuits to crossbody bags flaunted this popular word. However, the usage of it is widely viewed as a form of sexualization in the plush community. Because of this, many of us cringe when others utilize it to hop in the DMs and “get their flirt on.” It further pushes the narrative that chubby women are seen as objects to be fantasized and fetishized.
2. Butterball
If you were the plump little girl on the block, surely, you’ve heard “butterball.” While most see it as a way to show admiration, referring to a grown-up as (basically) a turkey, can be taken offensively. Granted, with any nickname, we all have different sensitivity levels, but if you asked your local voluptuous beauty how she felt about being called “butterball” in her 20s and 30s, you may be met with a frown.
3. Chunky Monkey
“Chunky Monkey” is not a compliment for plus size women. It’s not only be childish but derogative. Although being called chunky alone isn’t deemed a bad thing, attaching “monkey” feeds into the stigma that fat people are comparable to the monstrosity of animals. Take it from us, adding this to your “pet names” list for a plus size loved one won’t be the smartest, even if it’s (supposedly) done out of adoration.
4. Pretty Face
Telling us we “have a pretty face” is equivalent to “you’re pretty for a big girl.” Saying such a thing could appear as if you’re implying that our value only lies from the neck up, which is false. The plus size girlies are more than “adorable” cheeks and a cute smile. Let’s normalize letting someone know they’re pretty, period, instead of only highlighting certain features that meet a socially-accepted standard.
5. Confident
A woman’s greatest asset is indeed her self-esteem, but throwing “confident” at a fellow fluffy every time you see her embracing the skin she’s in is (debatably) a sideways comment. For many, it comes off as an insult when they’re sporting a bikini (like anyone else hitting the beach or having fun in the sun would), and they get told how much one “loves their confidence” or (even worse) asked how they could be so confident to wear “something like that.”
6. Big Sexy
If “Big Sexy” is in your vocabulary, remove it and try again. Though it sounds nice, it is not a compliment for plus size woman. Everybody wants to feel sexy in this lifetime, of course, but sexiness doesn’t have a specific weight, nor does it have to be emphasized with that person’s body type. As you may know, this term is famous in the male book of pickup lines. We, the people, vote for it to be gone… expeditiously.
In this era of the body-positivity space, educating those who aren’t in it is our goal here at TCF. Being a big girl in a small world has its challenges, but setting boundaries as a Curvy Cutie is mandatory. Everybody else doesn’t have to like us, but… they will respect us. We’re no longer giving them any other choice.
Which of these terms do you dislike the most? Let us know in the comments below!
This article, The 6 ‘Compliments’ Plus-Size Women Are Tired of Hearing first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Ashley Blackwell.
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